Global Alliance

Illustrations by Rui Christina

  • Pam (Pam Ann)
  • Lily (Singapore Airlines)
  • Valerie (American Airlines)
  • Mona (British Airways)
  • Sarah (Virgin Atlantic Airways)
  • Vespa (Alitalia)
  • Donna (EasyJet)
  • Chantal Jemeladonne (Air France)
  • Marcia (Air Jamaica)
  • Heidi (Scandinavian Airlines System)
  • Conchita Rosa María González Gómez (Iberia Airlines)
  • Helga (Lufthansa)
  • Unnamed Arabic woman (Emirates Airline & Etihad Airways)
  • Unnamed Indian woman (Air India)
  • Voula (Olympic Airlines)
  • Gloria (Qantas)
  • Clodagh (Ryanair)

Pam (Pam Ann) Signature character

Lily (Singapore Airlines) A Singapore Chinese-flight attendant who would sacrifice passenger safety for her Gucci handbag.

Valerie (American Airlines) An ageing American flight attendant from Texas based at Dallas Forth Worth

Mona (British Airways) A BA attendant who has appeared with a horse-head instead of a face and "piss off" attitude.

Sarah (Virgin Atlantic Airways) A sultry, woman in red who asks that passengers call her sex line.

Vespa (Alitalia) A perky Italian woman who greets passengers with "Ciao! Bellissimo! Donatellaversace!"

Donna (EasyJet) A typical, ignorant chav dressed in orange with Croydon facelift and hoop earings

Chantal Jemeladonne (Air France) A snobby fashionista who walks the aircraft aisle as if it were a catwalk

Marcia (Air Jamaica) Dressed in flowing gowns and accompanied by reggae music

Heidi (Scandinavian Airlines System) A stereotypical Swedish blonde woman who usually appears undressed with coffee pots strategically


Conchita Rosa María González Gómez (Iberia Airlines) A tiny Spanish woman with bright red hair and sings "Fanta, do you want a Fanta? Fanta? Fanta?" (the "signature" theme song of the Fantanas in the United States)


Helga (Lufthansa) A brash, dominating woman who barks out commands and orders

Unnamed Arabic woman (Emirates Airline & Etihad Airways) A woman with a chador and ski mask talking gibberish that resembles Arabic

Unnamed Indian woman (Air India) A woman in a sari who ignores passenger's requests on call button (made by herself), while declaring "I am fingering the air hostess, but she is not coming."

Voula (Olympic Airlines) A cigarette smoking, kebab-meat-cutting woman who says "Pustis pustis pustis malaka tzatziki".

Gloria (Qantas) A Qantas air hostess who wears the typical Qantas uniform. While giving the safety video, she states some of Qantas's defects. She also offers a full "head to toe" licking for everyone who still chooses to fly Qantas.

Clodagh (Ryanair) An Irish flight attendant who often syphons fuel from other airlines and repeatedly shouts "I love my job".